September 2009

Did you know that knowing the emotional stages of a relationship break up can actually help you get through the obvious pain you’re experiencing and come out the other side a much stronger and positive person?

This is especially so for those going through their first major break up – that is, those recovering from the pain of being dumped from their first true relationship where they were completely and totally in love.

But that’s not to say that if you have already gone through this humiliating personal experience before that you wouldn’t benefit from actually knowing what the emotional stages are. There are five basic stages you need to be aware of and it’s almost a case of them working in synergy as one crosses over into the other.

It’s also important to realize you shouldn’t try to shortcut the process. This can leave many unresolved “demons” which could lead to bitterness down the track and make you overly cautious. There really is no shortcut to healing and these emotions are nature’s way of easing you through the process with as little scars as possible.

The 5 Break Up Emotions

1. And pain is the first of the emotional stages of a relationship breakup you’ll experience. It will come at you hard and fast. First, there’s a feeling of non-belief and when reality sets in, the pain can almost feel physical and affect the way you eat and sleep. Wanting to be alone is natural but many times, the more you can release the pain the better you’ll feel.

2. The feeling of denial is a crucial step to work through. Too many times people let this linger too long. Thoughts that your ex will soon come to their senses and welcome you back with open arms is common and acting as if there’s nothing wrong is only delaying the healing process.

3. The feeling of anger usually follows denial and if you have any chance of getting back with your ex then this needs to be tempered. Irrational thinking can take over and this can be combine with irrational actions. Be careful not to let anger rule your thinking. And be careful not to become bitter because this can definitely spill into future relationships.

4. Just like in death, grieving is a natural process but unnatural thoughts such as wanting to shut yourself off from the world, feeling insecure or unworthy or even wanting to end it all can overtake a person’s thinking during this stage. This is when it’s vital you have a shoulder or two to lean on.

5. The last of the emotional stages of relationship break up is acceptance and it will come when you finally declare to yourself that it really is over. Depending on how you handled the previous emotions you should be stronger in your resilience and actually learned from some of the mistakes you made in the previous relationship. For many, it’s now time to think about the future rather than the past and you should be excited about what lies ahead.

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“How do I get back with ex husband” is a familiar question believe it or not that many women who opted out of wedlock for various reasons ask and for many hearing this question, it’s not unusual to be a little miffed by it.

If you are looking to get back with your ex husband then we respect your decisions for doing so. But before you make the leap of faith just sit down and analyze why you are thinking this way and answer some common questions you should be asking yourself.

One of these questions is simply why would you want to get back with him? Dig deep for the answer and don’t just answer it lightly. There were obvious reasons why the marriage didn’t work the first time. Time has a way of healing old wounds but it also has a way of suppressing truth and facts.

Whether it was your doing or his, the fact remains it failed once and unless you are both prepared to address these issues then it will probably fail again. In this article, we present three simple but powerful steps you should consider if you really are serious about getting back in his life again.

How Do I Get Back With My Ex Husband

Don’t accept that being part of a bad marriage is better than toughing it out alone. That’s almost crazy thinking. Instead, you should seek help to get over these feelings which will include loneliness and depression because unless you do, you could end up making a regretful decision.

1. Set up a meeting with him and discuss in a mature fashion why the marriage ended. But be careful not to be completely self-centered about your opinions. Try to talk to him. Not yell or nag, but talk. And listen. What misunderstandings took you so far away from one another.

If the both of you can be mature about this important step towards reconciliation and discuss your feelings about it without hostility then there is plenty of hope.

2. Consider your contribution to the marriage falling apart. Now where not saying it was your fault but the fact remains, no one really is totally blameless. If you are mature enough to evaluate this again, it will go a long way to a smooth re-union and a better partnership second time around.

3. Communication is huge in reconciliation attempts and this means locating resources to help you better communicate with each other. It’s one of the reasons reunion attempts often fail. Not only should you be able to express yourself but you also need to be able to listen. That’s vital in seeking questions on how to get back with ex husband.

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So can positive thinking really help get my boyfriend back? If you are thinking about this and asking the very same question the short answer is yes however, it is part of a process you need to understand.

While you may be at an emotional high right now the good news is you can quickly turn it around and get back on the right side of the happiness ledger. In other words, if you have tried everything to win back his affection then you need to stop and listen up.

What you may have been doing to get your boyfriend back may actually be driving him further away. It’s true. When people are emotionally distraught then there thinking is not rational and irrational thinking can lead to desperate actions.

While these actions may be instinctive in the area of relationship repair they can be detrimental if the person’s objective is to win back favor from their ex. It’s time to start working on yourself and positve thinking to get back your boyfriend is part of that process.

Work On Yourself To Get Him Back

So imaging what you want and then taking the specific actions to work towards bringing those images into reality is the key. The second part of this equation is vital. Too many spurned lovers take the wrong type of action. They know what they want in their minds but their actions will usually be of a desperate or panicky kind.

Here’s a short list of things you should both avoid and do to get your boyfriend back:

1. You definitely don’t want to constantly be contacting him. For example, You don’t want to constantly text, email and call your ex. That won’t accomplish a thing except perhaps a restraining order. What you want to do is leave it alone.

2. It’s time to start working on you. Putting the focus on you rather than him will have some excellent benefits. For starters, you’ll regain self confidence and when he sees this, the attraction meter will rise. No one is attracted to a clingy, weepy, desperate person and your ex won’t be either. You need to take a step back and spend some time working on you.

3. One variation to this is don’t change who you really are. Remember, it was something about you he fell in love with in the first place. What you’re aiming for is getting that confidence back into your make up. People are naturally attracted to confident people.

4. By leaving him alone while you work on yourself you are giving him time to miss you again. If you present yourself in a clingy fashion the odds of rejection are high. If you present yourself in a spritely confident fashion then get ready for some positive response.

5. Here’s the biggest benefit – while your aim is getting your boyfriend back, even if the worst case scenario is that it doesn’t work out, you will have grown as a person and will have more to offer whomever you find yourself in a relationship with.

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