by admin on March 31, 2009
It’s one of the most emotional periods in anyone’s life – having your partner walk out on you or kick you out. What makes it harder to come to terms with for many is the reasons for breaking up are usually vague, sometimes even non existent!
So how do I get my ex back? It’s the first question usually one asks themselves. First off you’ve got to weather the emotional pain storm. So how do you handle this?
The majority don’t handle it at well. They make the wrong initial moves which only worsens their standing and chances of a successful reconciliation. Acts of panic and desperation are usually first and foremost in a spurned person’s mind and that’s the the actions they usually take.
The consequences are pretty drastic. Think counter intuitively. Go against you’re initial thoughts of panic and desperation. In this article, we’ll present six things you should be doing or not doing after being spurned.
6 Steps To The Magic Of Making Up
#1. Well first off running around town trying to see your ex and ‘accidentally’ bumping into them wherever you know they will be hanging out, will usually not work. So if that’s what you’re doing as you wonder how do I get back with my ex? – then it’s time to change that now.
#2. If the breakup has been a particularly rough one, then you’re going to need to give both yourself and your ex some time to get over that before you even attempt to make a real move to make up with them and win them back.
#3. Take yourself out of that breakup drama by distracting yourself and occupying yourself with other things. This might sound like you’re actually avoiding the issue of the breakup, but you cannot make sound and rational decisions if you’re still emotionally red raw from what was said or done by you or your ex in the heat of the moment.
#4. You could take a class, take a trip or get fit! Anything that is going to take you out of just sitting home and fixating on your ex. Truthfully, doing the latter is a surefire way to make the wrong decisions and lose your ex for good.
#5. As you’re taking some time out from your ex, it is a good idea to think about what went wrong and what role you played in the break down of the relationship. This is not necessarily to attribute blame, but instead to figure out what you need to do to make sure that you know the answer to your question how do I get ex back?
#6. Because as sure as eggs is eggs, if you sincerely want to find a way back with your ex, then you’re going to have to come up with a reason for your ex to take you back and that means having a plan to change any ‘bad’ behavior that you exhibited to help cause the breakup.
by admin on March 30, 2009
Counter intuitive tactics won’t be the first thing you think about in how to win your ex back. In fact, it’s the complete opposite.
It doesn’t make sense does it? All you want to do is confront your ex and find out why they dumped or broke up with you. You want to send them text messages and get on the phone with them. In fact, it’s all you think about 24 hours of the day.
But seriously, there was a reason why they broke up with you and you need to stop for a moment and think what if I gave them a little space right now and actually agree with their decision. Sound crazy?
Figuring out how to win your ex back using reverse psychology might sound complicated, but it really isn’t. All it means is using some straightforward methods that are designed to get your ex to sit up and take notice of you instead of ignoring you.
T W Jackson speaks about being counter intuitive in his best seller The Magic Of Making and on first reflection, many might find this unusual. Charging in with your first instincts is the main reason why people on a mission to get back with their ex end up tightening the noose around the relationship neck.
The Vital Steps To Winning Your Ex Back
1. Your first step towards how to win an ex back involves you determining to make no contact with them. That means no texting, no calling and definitely no trying to see them. This might seem counter-intuitive to your ultimate goal, but look at it this way: if you stop calling your ex, especially when they’ve made it clear that they don’t want to be contacted, then you appear calm, mature and in control of yourself.
2. Once your ex begins to see you this way you are immediately more appealing than the desperate person you were who was bombarding them with calls.
3. Furthermore, this simple reverse psychology means that once you have stopped trying to make contact with your ex, then immediately your ex begins to wonder just what you’re up to.
4. Your next psychological move when you’re trying to figure out “how to win my ex back” is to get out and about and have some fun. This is going to be another tough undertaking, but it beats staying home night after night on your own struggling to stop yourself from contacting your ex and thinking about them. So force yourself out there and make some new friends or hook up with old friends.
#5. You’ve stopped calling them and you’re out and about enjoying yourself. Once word gets back to your ex, they’ll be surprised at how well you’re coping. Taking the steps towards understanding how to win back an ex really means looking after yourself first and foremost.
by admin on March 30, 2009
One of the most frequently asked dating advice questions that girls ask (or relationship advice, however you want to look at it) is this: How do I get my man to fall in love with me? SO many girls ask this question, and yet, the question itself is all wrong. You cannot make a man fall in love with you, become your boyfriend or husband (well, unless you blackmail him!).
The real question should be “WHY should he fall in love with me?”
Many girls, when looking for a prospective mate, have a laundry list of things that he should or should not have. They of course want him to be funny, strong, tall, handsome, rich, no spitting, smoking, chewing and loves his mama. But not more than her!
That’s a lot for a guy to live up to – ya know? But what do YOU have to offer him in return? Why should he choose YOU? Well, let’s talk about some attributes that guys really like in girls. In other words – this is HIS laundry list, what can YOU give him in return?
First of all, let’s talk about character. No one wants to be with someone who lacks character, integrity and personality. Some of the qualities that guys are looking for are as follows:
1 – Honesty, in BOTH words and actions. One of a man’s greatest pet peeves is a girl who tersely replies, “Nothing.” When he asks what is wrong. Be honest in both your feelings and your wants and needs.
2- Kindness – guys equate kindness with love. Despite the women’s lib movement ? guys still want girls to be kind and generous, things like being rude to your waitress or sales clerk are a total turn-off to a man .
3- Be mature and in control of yourself. Men do not like girls who have temper tantrums. Do not be moody, needy or pouty.
4- Spontaneity – guys love spontaneous and fun girls. Be open to new adventure and fun and never forget your sense of humor. This is something that Christian Carter hits on in Catch Him and Keep Him eBook; it is one of the biggest things that can keep the spark in your relationship for the whole lifetime of the relationship.
This list, of course, can go on for miles, but keep in mind the nature of these traits – they are all basically centered on truth, kindness and basically a love of self. These are foundations stones of strong character. You have to love yourself and allow yourself to experience these things without reserve.
Another thing that guys love is a woman’s ability to enjoy the things HE likes. Wouldn’t you just EAT IT UP if a man you were dating became interested in your pottery class or your love of reading? Imagine if you could do the same for him. By being open and ready for HIS likes, I am betting that he will be more open and ready to experience YOUR favorite things as well.
One thing that kind of goes hand in hand with this is the ability to have a HOBBY and have some fun without him. DO NOT base your happiness on his. Let him know that you have a life outside of him and that you do not NEED him to be happy and content. This shows confidence and maturity and is the exact opposite of needy behavior. Needy behavior, according to Christian Carter, is the death knell of a relationship – it is men’s biggest turnoff.
A fourth thing guys love – self-reliance. Are you able to manage your own household? Can you change a tire? Run your own grill, computer, finances, etc? You won’t have to do these things for yourself forever if you find a mate, but guys love it when a girl CAN.
Lastly, take care of yourself. You do not have to be a model to attract a man . But YOU know what your best attributes are, use them! Take care of yourself, keep clean, healthy, and stay interested in the temple that is your body. It’s the only one you will ever have!
If you want more dating advice for women, check out Christian Carter’s eBook, Catch Him and Keep Him. It is full of advice on the many facets of finding a good man and being able to keep him. Dating and relationships can be tricky, and finding good relationship advice can be even harder. Don’t miss your chance to get on top of the game now!
by admin on March 29, 2009
Do you know these 7 concrete steps to build trust in a relationship? Often, what really makes a relationship work are not the things we think of first. For instance, do you think you always need to spice things up? Wrong! Predictability is more important than variety in a relationship. The following seven methods are guaranteed to grow your connection by improving the level of trust in a relationship.
First, as I mentioned in the opening paragraph, you must be predictable. This goes against the common notion that you need to “stir things up” to keep the romance alive. Sure, going to a new restaurant or giving a surprise gift can be nice, but most of all, we need things to be consistent and steady in order to make our relationships work. Consider that trust in a relationship is built on being reliable day in and day out.
Next, you need to make sure that your words always match the message. This means that your partner must hear the words which match your body language. If you say you are happy but you are frowning, your partner doesn’t hear your words, he or she sees your face and the tone in your voice. Your partner must be able to trust what you are saying. When the words match the message, you build trust in a relationship.
Third, you have to have a fundamental belief in your partner’s competency. If you don’t you won’t have the trust in a relationship that you need. When lovingly communicated, the truth is never destructive. When you will not believe that your partner is competent at some things (or indeed, anything), you violate the trust in a relationship.
Don’t keep secrets. Secrets destroy the trust in a relationship. Be honest and open. Assume everything you know may eventually come out. Secrets require enormous energy on your part. That is energy that could be going into building the relationship.
Fifth, don’t be afraid to let your partner know what your needs are. Don’ t make him or her guess what you need. Let them know. It is okay to be self-centered as long as you are not selfish. Indeed, if you are reluctant to assert your needs, you may go overboard in the opposite direction and smother your partner.
Sixth, learn to say no. When your partner voices his or her desires, that is a good thing. But you don’t need to say yes to everything. A partner cannot respect you if you never say no. Refusing to be subjugated to the other person’s will actually builds trust in a relationship.
Finally, always pursue growth. When you plant a flower, you begin by digging in the dirt. Digging in the dirt of our relationships might sometimes cause pain. But, through that pain, we prepare the soil for future growth. Don’t be afraid of turmoil, crisis, or questions. These become the fertilizer for growth and change. Embrace what is difficult.
When you decide to work on trust in a relationship, you are bound to encounter a little pain. But, as you work through this pain, you will not only become stronger as an individual, you will also strengthen your bond. Which can also help to mend a relationship
Read also about emotional freedom therapy, because it has helped many people to get into balance with their relationships.
